It’s Time to Move in with my Parents
To those of you who know me in person (there are about 10 of you) or who have been following my blog for awhile, you’ve known about my decision to move back in with my parents for awhile now. But for everyone else, this may come as a surprise. After living on my own with Zero Day Fiancée for the past 3 years, we have made the decision to go back to the nest and live with our parents.
Leaving the Nest for College
I graduated from High school in the summer of 2009. Instead of going to an in-state school, I opted for a private university in Maryland. It was a purely financial decision: I received a full scholarship to an excellent school, whereas going to any of the SUNY schools would have cost about $12,000 per year. A win-win in my book.
It felt… strange leaving home. I had spent the past 19 years living with my family, and now I was a shiny-eyed freshman surrounded by exactly 0 people that I knew. Putting myself in this position forced me to grow. Once I ended up moving off campus, I had to figure out how to find an apartment. I learned how to cook (my first failed meal was bbq chicken) and take care of myself without an RA stepping in for random advice.
After I graduated from college, I continued living in my frat house basement. It was a nice place, and my rent was only $425 per month including utilities. With a salary of $84,000, this was awesome, and one of the biggest reasons that I was able to pay off my student loans so quickly. I eventually moved into a studio apartment with Zero Day Fiancée a few months later.
Living together was awesome, we finally had our own space to call our own. We combined our furniture into a set that didn’t quite fit together, but worked well enough. After a few months, we even brought down Zero Doge Finance with us. Alas, my work commute was a pain. 30 – 90 minute of driving in each direction was simply too much. We decided to move to Silver Spring, taking me closer to work. It also put Zero Day Fiancée closer to Washington, D.C. and it was much easier to find work there.
We bit the bullet and got our 1 bedroom apartment where we’ve been for the past 2.5 years. We sold most of our old furniture, bought new stuff, and decorated. It really felt like home. Because it was home.
Moving Back Home to NY
We always planned on moving back to New York. I imagined we would move back after living in Silver Spring for at least 3 or 4 years. That way, we would both be more established in our careers. But circumstances changed. Zero Day Fiancée got a job offer in NY that she couldn’t refuse. This left us in a predicament.
She went up to New York and stayed there. But I was in the process of negotiating an awesome job offer that I couldn’t refuse either. My new job included a ton of WFH, so I made a deal with them: I would come into the office every day for six months, then move to NY and be completely remote (when I don’t need to travel).
Well, those 6 months are over, and I’m driving up to New York on Friday to finally be with my family. Making the decision to go back to New York was easy. Both of our families are there, and we want to spend more time with them. Plus, we’re native Long Islanders, and we always wanted to go back.
But Why Move in With Our Parents?
Back in July, we started looking at apartments on Long Island. And it started to freak us out. We found a few newly renovated 1 bedroom apartments (we really need 2 for my WFH office) for $2,200 per month. With parking and utilities included, it would be closer to $2,500 – $2,700 per month. And that’s a ton of money, money we didn’t want to spend.
In addition, we owe $1,960 to break our lease in Maryland early, $2,200 for a realtors fee, and $4,400 for first an last month’s rent if we got our own apartment in New York. Who has a cool $7,000 just sitting around? Plus it would cost about $500 – $1,000 to move us up to New York. It just didn’t make sense, I would need to nuke half of my emergency fund just for this.
Then we started thinking: what if we just live with our parents? Most people our age have been living with their parents for awhile, and are finally moving out. We’ve been relatively independent and are looking to move back in. And we’re perfectly fine with that, and our parents are fine with that as well. At least for now.
For me, the decision to move back in with our parents was simple. There are 2 main arguments that made it a very easy decision for me.
- We love our parents / future in-laws
- We can save an extra $2,500 per month
First of all, each of us love our parents dearly. The harsh reality is that our parents won’t always be with us. Spending more time with them now is precious, and we’ll appreciate it for the rest of our lives. Plus we both love our in-laws, and really enjoy spending time with them. We’ve bonded over the past few years, and they truly are our family.
In addition, we’ll save an additional $2,500 per month. I currently save $2,500 – $3,000 per month towards a house down payment. We are getting married in 9 months. This will help us save an extra $45,000 for a house down payment by the time we are married. Now, most of you are probably thinking “$45,000? That’s enough for a down payment!” Well, not quite.
Real estate on Long Island is prohibitively expensive. If we could find a recently renovated 1,600 – 2,000 square foot house in a good school district for less than $600,000, we’ll be really happy. But this means we need $120,000 for a down payment. We’re also thinking about having children, and will become a 1-income household for a few years. That means we probably want closer to $150,000 – $175,000 down to make the monthly payments manageable. Oh, I forgot to mention that property taxes on Long Island are around 2.2%. so we’ll be paying more than $1,000 per month for that.
All this means is that living at home with our parents makes sense. Not only do we get to spend more time with them, but we can greatly accelerate the time it takes to buy our own home.
To actually move up to New York, we decided to sell all of our furniture. Yes, we had about $3,000 worth of stuff. I’m actually typing this right now sitting on the floor in my empty living room. Pretty much nothing is left, not even the carpet and standing mirror. We got about $600 total by selling everything. But, this means we saved $500 – $1,000 in moving expenses, and also $200 per month for a storage unit. We’ll make up the cost pretty quickly, and worth it in my opinion.
Maryland has been my home for the past 8 years. I’ve had mostly good times, a few bad. But It’s changed me for the better. I even got to meet some awesome personal finance bloggers. I’ll definitely try and schedule a meetup next time I’m in the state, which probably won’t be for a few months. So for now, goodbye, but I’ll be back soon!